She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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