he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
