I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
