If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
