Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(219): View more from Indiana

I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."

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(231): View more from Michigan

Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?

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(719): View more from Colorado

I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?

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(303): View more from Colorado

I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER

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(217): View more from Illinois

Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.

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