I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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