I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
