Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
