Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
