I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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