I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
