Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
