my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
where does the pee come out of this thing
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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