I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
