Do vagina's smell?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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