I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
3pm strippers are depressing
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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