well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
