thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
