I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
