Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
