i wish there were pregnant emoticons
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
operation have a gay friend backfired
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just found puke in my bra..
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
