420 ftw
I want to walk on stilts...naked
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
