whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
