Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
