your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
