i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
