careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
