we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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