Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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