Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
