i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
