Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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