I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
