you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
