I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
