she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
