i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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