First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
my poor anus
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
