Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
