last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
