Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I want to make a zoo with you.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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