3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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