I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
