Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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