we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
