there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
