I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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