u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
