I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
