So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
